This week Maureen and I said goodbye to our 4 month old daughter June Elise Markelz. The cause was SIDS. We had a service in Boston at the Follen Church in Lexington, MA, and a service in Chicago at St. Lawrence of O’Toole church in Matteson, IL. Both times we were surrounded by so many family and friends that are helping us through this tragic time.
I gave the Eulogy at both services… many have been asking for a copy, so here is the most recent version that I spoke in Chicago.
For those of you that didn’t know June Elise Markelz all that well during her short life… my Boston neighbor Bruce Wright summed it up with the best quote I will remember about her:
“There is nothing small about that baby..” – Bruce Wright
She was big both in size and in love. And in capability… for she has brought all of us together today.
June was the perfect baby. She only cried when hungry. She enjoyed watching Hannah and Lucy play. She loved to be held, loved to stand tentatively on her chubby legs. She was just learning to laugh when tickled. Because she was such a good, happy baby, Maureen and I both felt like we really enjoyed her time. We are confident she knew how loved she was and we saw how much love she gave our family.
I am not religious in the traditional sense, but am guided by a strong ‘humanist’ belief that we all are collectively pursuing perfection both in being… and in knowing. And so from this terrible tragedy I hope that I can learn to live better. Learn to ‘be’ better. And as I reflect, I feel that June is already already teaching me these things.
Maureen and I have always known we were loved… by our family… by our friends… but the true extent of that love and the impact was much more amorphous than it is today. In the last few days we have rekindled old relationships… have been introduced to new people and new communities that have accepted us into their hearts. If June can do this… if she can help all of us be better… know better… live better, than I feel that is the greatest honor of her short time with us all. June has really taught us how loved we are. I thank her for that gift.
Maureen and I have found solace in the writings of many poets and authors this week. Our outlook is best described by one Ekhart Tolle who writes:
Accept, then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it. Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy. This will miraculously transform your whole life.
It has been one week since June’s passing. September 19th was the worst day of Maureen’s and my life. We accept this. But the next day was not the worst day… and neither was the day after that… or the day after that. And neither is today. It is said that a tragedy is a tool for the living to gain wisdom. So we will carry this new tool with us. It will not define us. It will help us be better people. We will use this wisdom in honor of baby June. I hope all of you use it as well.
Goodbye baby June. We love you.
We now go forth to celebrate her life each day. Maureen and I are changed because of this and we look forward to seeing how this change affects our life.
June’s memorial song is “You are the New day” by the King’s Singers. You can listen to the song and read the words… for they also showcase the optimism that has been guiding us each day:
Song: The King’s Singers, New Day album, Track #1
Lyrics:
I will love you more than me
and more than yesterday
If you can but prove to me
you are the new day
Send the sun in time for dawn
Let the birds all hail the morning
Love of life will urge me say
you are the new day
When I lay me down at night
knowing we must pay
Thoughts occur that this night might
stay yesterday
Thoughts that we as humans small
could slow worlds and end it all
lie around me where they fall
before the new day
One more day when time is running out
for everyone
Like a breath I knew would come I reach for
the new day
Hope is my philosophy
Just needs days in which to be
Love of life means hope for me
borne on a new day
You are the new day
But it’s a great example of each of their personalities right now: Hannah posed and ready, Lucy in your face and crazy, and June looking around, most likely asking, “What am I getting into here?”
